The Light in the Dark

黑暗里的光线

It had been a long time since I have been here, re-reading posts that I have made. I realised I have come a long way, a long long way indeed.

I have not once, not twice, not even thrice but many times in my life found myself within a darkness I cannot escape. No windows, no doors...But I believe in God and His miracles as well as myself. A ray of light appears in the darkness, waiting patiently for me to approach it, to bask in it.

I have found a ray of light in the darkness that had trapped me. It reminded me of the story of the Pandora's Box, when the box was open, all had escaped... except hope. And with Hope, I have gained a ray of light that had ever since been the guiding light in my life.

Many times in life, we find ourselves trapped in a corner in the dark but God will always, ALWAYS bring a ray of light into your life. Find it, use it and get yourself out of the darkness.

We fear the dark for we fear the unknown, God will never get rid of the unknown but you can keep it at bay and you can turn it into the known. Life is a journey of discovery. And be positive in it. You only have one life. Live it.

A hard feeling...

It is not that I am someone who craves for money, I am just someone who hope and wishes that my family would have enough to use without having to worry whether we will get through the month with enough money to start the next.

I have many concerns and many things that I cannot solve. I try my best and I know God recognizes my efforts and lessen my burdens. When I see how other could use their money without a care in the world, I feel envious. I envy them, they may worry about it later but they could always ask their parents for more if they had overuse. No such thing exist in my family.

I want to be released from worrying about money, about whether I would have enough money to eat tomorrow or whether I have money to pay rent. I want so many stuff yet cannot have them. I look at them, and turn to the price, I walk away. I cannot afford stuff like that.

Now that there's an assignment that requires me to use up to RM100 just to get credit for it, I would be left with no money at all. How can I ask for money? When my family has so little to use? I am in a dilemma. I feel very deprived and sad and I really really really want to cry.

There has always been ways for me to solve my problems, I always stay postive. Who knows? There's always a silver lining in those dark clouds that hover over me. No matter how many times I cry, how many times I feel like giving up....I have to tell myself. There are others worse off than you.

In this world there are 3 types of people, those who have nothing, those who have everything and those who are in between. When you have nothing, there's nothing to lose. When you have everything, there's nothing to worry. It's when you're in between that you have something to lose and things to worry.

I am not strong. But I'll live.