Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ponderings....

There are times in my life...I just sit and think,
Of the questions I have in just a blink,
There are times in my life...I ponder my mind,
Yet the answers I seek I was unable to find.

Sometimes I wonder if our lives are meant to be the way it is...sometimes I wonder if the people we meet in this life were the people we met in our past life? Sometimes I wonder if the world would remain the same if there's a slight change of history? Sometimes it seems that there are no answers to the questions I have...Many a time I have sat and wondered...

If love was as simple as cutting a piece of cake,
if love was as complicated as a puzzle,
if life was as simple as peeling an orange
or if life was as complicated as a rubix cube.

2010 is nearing and I'm turning 20, sometimes I wondered in these 19 years of my life of the things I achieved. Like every other girl, I want to like someone yet sometimes I don't think I should...but when I do...they never liked me back....they never did..Not even once...I'm sure a number of teenagers or young adults out there share my experience...Good as I am in giving people advice in their love problems and common problems...I was never able to help myself,a doctor can never cure himself.

However, I still carry hope that in the near future or distant future, I'll meet someone like everyone else...Someone who I would call home wherever he is. We all may have bad experiences or bad relationships but as long as we don't give up easily and always move forward as well as learn to let go, our lives we'll be much easier. Let go of the things that are not yours and it'll stop killing you...

PS: Ahh...nonsense again.


Friday, December 11, 2009

The Lost Heir - Prologue: The Unexpected Arrival

Here's the first few pages,some of it may sound childish:-

As darkness gradually takes over the light of the day, the moon chased the sun away, it shines brightly above the snow-covered ground, the snow glittered in the cold rays of the moon, covers the outskirts of Lune Forest, a man draped in a black cloak, his chest bulding revealing to the dark lonely land he was holding something dear.
With an air of caution, the man trudged into the forest passing the bare trees that mark the outskirts of the forest. Trees alongside him, filled with leaves as he enters the forest, carefully following a route he had once taken years ago to look for his childhood friends who were now undoubtedly a couple. Fortunately for him, the forest was not as thick as it was during spring or summer, the rays of the moon faintly light his way as he picks himself through the forest, going deeper into the centre. He knows very well that at this time of the year, the hunters roamed the forest hoping to catch a stray rabbit or and unfortunate fawn, he knows that if they were unlucky, they would ended up as the hunters' winter food.
He was a sword user, not a magic user but lucky as he was, his childhood friend, Esmelralda was or hopefully, was still a magic user who had kindly taught him a little about Concealment Charms. He muttered and incantation that will cover his scent, hoping very much that it has work, he never was a great practioner of magic back in his school days, he nearly flunked Basic Magic.

* * *

Deep in the centre of Lune Forest, a small cottage or more accurately a small cabin was situated in the middle of a fairly large clearing, around it, rocks lined the side of the clearing, separating the forest and glade. A man of strong build was outside the cabin, he was a man in his late twenties, his had a well built stature as he picks up his axe chopped a small piece of log he had placed onto the tree stump in half. He was about to repeat his action when he stop, he looked at the forest, he sensed magic, it was faint but without a doubt, it was magic, he put down his axe and approaches the forest,
' Who is it, Orion?' asked a gentle yet strong female voice, it was his wife, Esmelralda who had came out of the house when the sensed magic.
' I don't know, Es...the one thing I know is - '
' He's not an enemy? I know...' Esmelralda cut into Orion's sentence causing him to smile at her, the soft rustling of dried leaves brought Orion's attention back to the black mass in front of him, the rustling grew louder yet soft, he who was approaching tried to keep his footsteps soft but to the ears of the couple, it was as loud as the clanging of a bell.
The both of them waited as a familiar figure emerged from the shadows, he pushed his hood down and gave the couple a small smile, he was tired, a lot has happened and he has tons of things to tell his two best friends. A broad grin appeared on Orion's face, Esmelralda was smiling as well, Orion walked to his friend,
' Ry!' he exclaimed excitedly, hugging Rymon who was however hesistant, Orion noticing this, gave Rymon a look of enquiry, Rymon took from under his cloak, a night blue bundle, Esmelralda approaches Rymon and asked anxiously,
' Whose is it?' Orion looked at her, puzzle, not understanding what she meant. The puzzled face turned into astonishment when Rymon opened the bundle gently to reveal...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Jewels of Five : The Lost Heir

This is one of the stories I'm working on,the first book I'm trying to write. Here's the synopsis.

The Lost Heir

Trained in magic and melee weapons, Ariana Carnersir was nothing but a farm girl. But one day, when an assassin tried to take her life, questions started to fly through her mind. Naturally, her questions were directed to her parents who seems to be hiding the answers to her questions. The answers only came when her village was attacked in the attempt to destroy her..

When Arians's parents decided to let her into the truth, she would never have guess the answers she had been waiting for will change her life...forever.


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Who would’ve thought…

Who would’ve thought…

Who would’ve thought,
That dreams could be so short..
So brief…
We were together
In a place
That we have come to love..

Who would’ve thought,
That our time together,
Would be so short…
So brief…
We were there laughing together,
Having fun together…
And now it’s like a dream..

A dream it may be…
An illusion it could be…
But we know it’s real
And true to our hearts..
May us all remember…
The times we had.

-My own lyrics-

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Between the Life and Death?

Many of us...had lost friends whether by natural means or by accidents, recently or more accurately about a few months or so ago, for the first time in my life I lost a friend..

His departure shook the whole school, everywhere I turned I saw tears and I was crying myself. I have very little memory of my friend, I was not close to him but he was a great person, a nice guy. I could not accept the fact of his absence, I was not the only one, that day was the day the whole school cried. I stopped crying somehow...knowing very well, he does not wants to see us cry. All the while all I could think of was...how I never got to know him,how I wished to see him and how sudden it was.

I have regretted the fact that I never got to know him better, now I have lost the chance. Everytime I imagine his laughter and his jokes, I could feel tears in my eyes and pain in my heart. I realised then and there, I will never see him again or hear his voice again. I realised that for the first time I have lost a friend.

I had realised to how sudden things can happen, how sudden someone will be taken away from us...how we would regret when you realised you will never be able to see someone again. Many a night I had laid awake in bed, thinking if I were to lose someone again how would I feel....I have not once but more than twice had recalled the memories I have of my friend. I realised that anything can happen tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day but you never know what will happen, you would not know if you would be next or your friend would be. This accident had taught me forever more to appreciate all those around me, be it friends or enemies, I know that I could never changed the past but somehow if we learn from the past, we would know that all misunderstandings we have with our friends or any arguments we may have should be resolved or we would one day regret. Regret that you had not changed what could be changed, had not done what could be done.

Learn to love and to appreciate those around you, even if they may not love you as much as you love them, love them still...you only live once and only once you have the chance.

"Family is like a house and we are the occupants, forever more connected."

"Friends are like water, we may not need them once in awhile but we will need them in the end."

"Love is a precious jewel, once lost, it is never found again."


~:In Loving Memory of Tevindiran who passed away on the 29th of July 2009:~
~May he rest in peace~

Monday, October 26, 2009

Four Seasons

All four seasons were created for a reason..

If you notice, Spring is the start of all life,trees starts to grow leaves again,animals starts to forage for food,the whole world is moving. The world is alive,reborn. Just like humans,when we were born,everything around us were moving,our parents were excited,the doctors were wishing your parents...everyone in fact was wishing your parents. The birth of a child is like Spring,the start of life.

As the season shifts to Summer,trees began to bear flowers,full of different colours and different scents, animals start to mingle with each other,similar to humans, as we grow up,we go through the ups and downs of life like the colours of the flowers and like animals in summer,we start to communicate with other people,making friends and seeking for such a thing called 'love'. The ups and downs of our life is like Summer.

Now we've come to Autumn,a season where living things seems to slows down,the trees shedding their leaves bearing fruits which are sweet and colourful,animals have given birth and taking care of their youngs. Likewise,we reaching the right age and have our own children who give us sweetness and colour in life,we've grown old,we shed our old and immature thinking. This stage of our life is similar to Autumn.

Last but not least we've come to Winter,here,all is quiet and silent,not a single living being in sight,trees have shed all their leaves and looks dead, animals are hibernating or have migrated to warmer areas. We have come to the end of our journey in life,nearing our ends,all is quiet and peaceful,we have gain a peace of mind and ready to end our journey. The last stage of our life is Winter.

However,the seasons are recurrent,it's a cycle,like life. We may have ended this journey but we may start another when Spring comes again...All is in the hands of God.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Memoirs of the Unchanged

Throughout my years..19 years to be exact, I'm not old or have even reached half of my life yet I've seen people change from the days they were in primary to today...or people I have recently known last year who have change...in ways I do not understand. Naturally I change as well..humans change but not our memories.

Have you ever wondered in your life how much a person can change? I realised this suddenly this year..I know someone since last year and somehow now..it's as though I don't know him anymore..more like a stranger...than a friend.

I was surprised of course...but I usually witness the change..of a person in the lapse of five years..It's unbelievable how much a person can change..I for one fear change...yet sometimes embrace it. I fear the change that will take away things dear to me...yet embrace change that gives everyone a better life..how ironic isn't it?

Change however never seemed to apply to memories,they fade...but yet never altered. As we recall a memory we remember them as they were...I remembered my friend who changed drastically,recalling him to be a person whom I thought I understand...Now I realised...I do not know him at all..let alone saying we're close friends..

My memories about people I love and cared are as vivid as the memory of the sun the day I started remembering,bright and clear. Not a moment forgotten..even the unhappy ones,I remember my first fight with my best friend...resulting in fever the next day, I remember my most unhappiest moments,remembered my friends happiest moments and of course my family's happiest moments. I remember every detail,every word...And of course if you ask if I remember words of my changed friend,I do..every single one...words he meant,words he didn't mean..I remembered.

I have,throughout my whole life witness not a single change but many, I hope with every particle in me that my memories will remain the way it is....for always..

Love

How long have you know the person you are now going out with? Have you ever asked yourself why? Or has that 'why' never appear in your mind?

The definition of crush in my book:-
Crush is a feeling you get when you are attracted to someone because of his/her looks,the first impressions...this is neither like nor love.

The definition of like in my book:-
Like is a feeling you get when you like that person for their personality,for who they are...this is like.

The definition of love in my book:-
Love is a curious thing, when you look for it,it would not come but when you least expect it, it comes to you seeking you out asking you to return it. Love is a feeling you get when you love him/her for no apparent reason,even if he/she was a jerk to your family and friends,to you he/she is an angel. Love needs no reason.


Love too cannot be measured, many asked the person they like/love,'how much do you like me?' this question should never be asked if you trust the person before you,if you love him/her never ask this stupid question. If you really need an answer for that, you are being shallow, you believe love can be measured,you feel that that person loves you only when he/she says she'll die for you.

Will you then,be satisfied? Let time tell you if he/she is worthy of your love,do not question his/her love for you but question your love for him/her,how much you love him/her? Can you measure it? If you can,then you don't love him/her much...it's all but like or affection influenced by the intimacy you both shared. LOVE can never ever be measured in anyway.

Love at first sight..is to me delusional,they are all but illusions,not many can find true love through first sight. True love can only be found through time,through hardships and through trust. No one can see a person and say that person is the love of their live...how do you know? The feeling you get? That would be greatly influenced by his/her looks,you can't tell if he/she is the one..for only through time will you know.

Your parents give/gave you unconditional love,your spouse should and would give you the same. If the love is conditional,it isn't love at all...if you found your spouse by first sight,I would congratulate you but if you found your bf/gf by first sight..and believe him/her to be the ONE,I suggest give it time...Love is a curious thing for it needs no reason and of all emotions and things in the world it...can never be measured in any way of any form.