虽然。。

虽然，我有时候很生气你。。
但是我很快就消气了。。。
反而会担心你有没有吃好睡好。。

今天我起来觉得很孤单。。。
今天看到你，我本来很开心。。
不知道为什么。。。
我哭了。

心里觉得很痛很痛，
很辛苦，
明明知道这感觉并不是一天就能消失。
因为很爱你再会很痛苦。

我痛到我快要受不了了，
我那时候，
有多想把一切记忆都毁灭，
把全部事情都忘得一干二净，
不用再想你，
不用再痛。。

但是，
我不想不爱你，
但是如果，
你不爱我，
我就会放手，
因为爱，
是不需要拥有的。

只要你开心，
只要你不再辛苦，
只要我能再一次，
看见你的笑容，
什么痛也值得。。

我并不伟大，
其实我很自私，
很任性，
很霸道，
但是，
只要你开心，
我哭多少次，
都没关系。。

我说是如此伟大，
我很清楚，
真的没有那么的容易，
爱还在的每一天，
我就会痛苦多一天。

我没有怪过你，
因为路是我自己选的，
只希望，
你能从困境，
走出来。。。

如果，
真的有一天，
你不爱我了，
我会让你走。

想你爱你

我很想你，真的真的很想你
你在做什么？
吃了吗？
够睡吗？
还在头痛吗？
要吃药吗？

很担心你，你要好好照顾你自己
我不在你身边，不要虐待你自己。。
我不想看到你越来越憔悴。。
越来越累。。

很怕你会肾病
我很怕很怕你自己一个人
你说过出外靠朋友
你可以不要一个人吗？
我不管你跟男生还是女生在一起
只要你不是一个人就好了。。

我知道我的感受，
如果你知道的话，
你会很辛苦。。

我想你知道
分手了不代表我不爱你了
只代表我们不能在一起
我没有放手，虽然他们一则叫我放
叫我别等了，叫我不要那么傻
他们说你不爱我了
但是你没有清口说过。。

如果
你放手了，
让我知道。。
我会放手
爱一个人
就想他开心
只要你开心
我什么都好。。

虽然
我很想你
很想跟你讲话
很想听你的声音
很想听你说故事
很想看到你的笑容
很想再一次抱着你
很想你抱着我对我说
‘没事，一切都会过去。。我一样那么的爱你‘。。

虽然
我哭的时候
很想你在我身边
但是我也明白
我的泪水
是不可以给你看到

虽然
很想你关心我
很想你关我
但是我也明白
今日不同往日
你已经不可以那样做了

我们现在这能当朋友。。
我很想我们有未来
你可以给这个希望我吗？

如果
你不爱我了
你不用给我
只让我知道
我不用再等下去了。。

我会爱你爱到你不爱我的时候。。。

爱你并不容易

我记得我对你说过

我不会放手

也说过

我会爱你一生一世

当我说这些话的时候

我已经认定你是我的未来

爱你并不容易

但你却要放弃

记得你说过

我不放手

你不放手

我还没放手

为什么你已经放手？

爱你并不容易

但你却要放弃

你说过的每句话

我都相信

都记得

那你记得你说过的话吗？

爱不容易说出口

却我说了

你所说过的爱

并不是爱

只是喜欢

你从来没有爱过我

你只是喜欢我

别骗你自己

也别骗我了

如果爱

那么得容易放手

那一定不是爱

我到现在

都还没放手

而因为要放手

哭了。。

爱你并不容易

但你却要放弃

你是我的初恋

而我只是你第一个

喜欢的人

喜欢和爱不同

你把我的爱放了

我再也不会给你了

因为我已经放手了

我们当永远的朋友吧

爱他。。。

没想过会爱他，也没想过能和他在一起。

因为爱他，我很想留在他身边。

因为在乎他，我每天都会想他。

因为不想离开他，不顾一切，一直要留在他身边。

因为不想让他担心，伤心的时候不会让他知道。

因为他伤心，我会比他更伤心。

有时候，因为他不明白一些事情，我会很难过。

有时候，觉得跟他的距离很远，我们好像站在不一样的世界。

有时候，他想什么事情，我不知道，也猜不到。

有时候，想他留在我身边，但是他有事情要忙。

有时候，他做的事情让我伤心，但是我很快都没事了，因为不想影响他的情绪。

不知道他是在想什么呢？

I May Not Be Strong...But I'll Hold Onto HOPE

I know I'm not strong nor am I a great person...I realised everything has changed drastically without warning,without hope of changing what has been changed...I had long embrace courage to face my fears and to protect those I love but I realised it is not easy to embrace change...
When I lose something dear to me, I will lose my direction...sociologically I'm in a state of Anomie,I know my friends care about me and I know I should not worry them...yet I am unable to help but cry to my hearts content...
Realising change is imminent and is coming towards me...I open my arms to embrace it for I realised it matters not the surroundings...what matters is your heart...for worse or for better..only you can shape your life...change is not necessarily good nor is it necessarily bad..one must learn to accept change to be able to change..
Hope is a light at the end of every tunnel...what you'll find there you'll never know but know this, the light may show you good or bad but remember...it'll always be there, have faith in Hope and have faith in God for He only knows what is good for us.

C.E. SOON

To Walk With Courage...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, rather what we're fighting for is more important than fear"

Look yonder, the road far ahead,
With no ending to it,
How far it'll stretch,
None of us knows it.

Walking down the road,
Slowly I trod,
Past the holes,
And past the bumps,
I'd trip once or twice,
But never a thrice.

Somewhere down the road,
My tears flowed out,
Somewhere in between,
My heart is crying out.

Knowing what I know,
It is now or never,
Ignoring the pain now,
Gaining the courage forever.

Waiting for bliss's arrival,
I'd be content with happiness,
Avoiding pain's arrival,
I'd be ignoring sadness.

Gaining courage,
I'd continue walking,
Fear will not defeat me,
Even if it lives in me.

I will continue to walk with courage, for what I am fighting for is more important than the fear I'm living with.

C.E. SOON

Arigatou...

A group of young adults sat huddled together around a small fire,bearing the cold of the upcoming winter, one girl lean forward and said,

"My friends....let me bring you into the fire and tell you a story of a girl...a lonely girl who found joy in her own way.." she said, the fire crackling away.

Along the corridors of a old school, still majestic,walked a lonely figure,her hair tied up into a pony-tail,she was not very tall,not very pretty or very cute. She was just an average school girl of sixteen. Her hands brush over the walls of her school,humming to herself and pondering her own thoughts, you see this girl from young was quite lonely,her classmates shunned her for she was not at par with what they were talking about and it was also because she spoke broad English. But she knew how to speak their language...she just didn't want to. Luckily for her,she found a friend who like her was shunned due to the same reasons, they became friends immendiately and soon they were best friends even the other had a sister who had also became her best friend. Then they went to the same high school, though they were separated by their classes,they always meet during recess and wait for each other after school. This girl was not quite lonely anymore yet she felt empty inside.
Years gone by and now,where our story began she was sixteen and gathered a group of friends who had the same hobbies and likings as she was and called themselves the Drain Gang.

The group of adults laughed,so did our narrator,"Yes...pretty funny,isn't it?" she said

They enjoyed themselves in their aged old school,they went through thick and thin...However one particular year when she was seventeen, she was placed in an obstacle so painful she felt as though all hope was lost. She was never really happy because she felt her father did not love her,she felt isolated and left out, but this year it was even more painful...Here I have to apologise,it is not right for me to reveal her secrets that she only revealed to those closest to her but please feel her pain.
Her friends help her through the obstacle and she was able to stand up and smile once again. Then school was over,they were separated. Again,fortunately this girl when to another school with most of her drain gang friends and joined a particular society that made her feel really at home. By now her father was already outstation for he needed extra jobs to support the family,this girl muddled through her pains with a smile on her face. In the society,however there are times when she feel so lonely that she wanted to cry out in pain but she bear it and put on a smile, now that school was really over. She now sat here and tell her friends this story that they know so well...and held onto a saying she thought of herself," I do not need pity all I need is understanding....I am not a poor person because physically,mentally and relationship wise I am rich for I have my friends and my family..."

The girl looked at her friends and say with a smile from her heart," Thank you for being an understanding person...I love you guys...soba ni ite kurete arigatou...thank you for being by my side...arigatou na.."