It is not that I am someone who craves for money, I am just someone who hope and wishes that my family would have enough to use without having to worry whether we will get through the month with enough money to start the next.
I have many concerns and many things that I cannot solve. I try my best and I know God recognizes my efforts and lessen my burdens. When I see how other could use their money without a care in the world, I feel envious. I envy them, they may worry about it later but they could always ask their parents for more if they had overuse. No such thing exist in my family.
I want to be released from worrying about money, about whether I would have enough money to eat tomorrow or whether I have money to pay rent. I want so many stuff yet cannot have them. I look at them, and turn to the price, I walk away. I cannot afford stuff like that.
Now that there's an assignment that requires me to use up to RM100 just to get credit for it, I would be left with no money at all. How can I ask for money? When my family has so little to use? I am in a dilemma. I feel very deprived and sad and I really really really want to cry.
There has always been ways for me to solve my problems, I always stay postive. Who knows? There's always a silver lining in those dark clouds that hover over me. No matter how many times I cry, how many times I feel like giving up....I have to tell myself. There are others worse off than you.
In this world there are 3 types of people, those who have nothing, those who have everything and those who are in between. When you have nothing, there's nothing to lose. When you have everything, there's nothing to worry. It's when you're in between that you have something to lose and things to worry.
I am not strong. But I'll live.
